20 de ago. de 2012

Quando as suas referências de moda e de relacionamento te levam a lugares inesperados

Like, totally.

Eu estava por aí no facebook, quando dei de cara com uma referência a esse post aqui. Aí comecei a pensar que:

a) Eu já vi esse filme inúmeras vezes;
b) Eu comecei a ver esse filme way to soon.. Lembro de citar "O que você na escola hoje? Ah, quebrei o salto do meu sapato (versão dublada, sorry guys);
c) Eu tenho a edição luxo do filme - com vários comentários sobre como "I am Audi" e "Whatever" vieram, na verdade, do filme, ou seja, o filme é brilliant;
d) Provavelmente, várias das minhas noções de moda e de relacionamentos - friends and boys magia -, vêm de Clueless;
e) Like, OMG;
f) Eu acho que entendo se vários de vocês que estão lendo esse post pararem de falar comigo.


OBS: Meu dia tá tenso, foi o melhor que eu consegui fazer hoje - para aqueles que ainda se importam..


EINTKILF

Everything I Need to Know, I Learned From ‘Clueless’

Besides DJ Tanner, when I was a child, the prettiest woman in the world to me was Alicia Silverstone. Not only did I love Clueless, but I loved Aerosmith, and she was in, like, ALL of their videos. (Puh-lease don’t fact check me, because she quite possibly could have only been in one video.) Clueless is most def one of those movies that is way funnier when you get older, but you know what, I was an incredibly mature kid who just thought Dionne was really pretty, so I still enjoyed watching it. Without further ado:
EINTKILF Clueless
1. “You divorce wives, not children.”I must admit, and it is a total ’90s movie thing (which is my whole world, basically), that I love Cher’s dad because he is a total grumpy old man who has a heart of something more expensive than gold. He tells Cher, after defending why Josh still comes to the house, that children are way more important than wives, more or less. I have to say, I totally agree, because, you know…bros before yadda yadda yadda. It is like that stupid saying, but way more impactful.
2. How to form friendships.Cher and Dionne are the best of friends, but when I was younger, I did not realize they were only 15 and/or 16 years old. I mean, let’s be real – everyone is best friends when they are that young. I had, like, five best friends, and I only still talk to two of them. However, Cher says something that always stuck with me: “She’s my friend because we both know what it’s like to have people be jealous of us.” I never made a friend like that, and at now 25 years old, maybe I should.
3. High school boys are like dogs.Cher doesn’t date boys in high school, which she claims is a choice everybody has to make. She thinks high school boys are not worth her time, and funny thing–she is so right. Though I was in love with one boy throughout high school, he was not in high school, so I always empathize with Cher on this subject. However, I have done a ripe job of wasting my time with boys that act like they are still in high school since I’ve been in my 20s. BLAH BLAH BLAH I feel like all of my “boys will be boys” jokes are getting old, but I can’t help it! I spit the truth!
4. Kenny G is uncool…not.I side with Josh on this: whatever! Kenny G is so cool. What the hell is Christmas without him? Story: Kenny G and I are both from Seattle and we are both Starbucks shareholders (am I allowed to tell you that?) and I also work for Starbucks, so I usually attend the annual shareholder event. This past year, I saw him there and he actually smiled at me. I had to refrain myself from A) hugging him or B) scrunching his beautiful curls and asking him what product he uses. We have so much in common; I just think we could be great friends.
Everything I Need to Know, I Learned From Clueless
5. Two permits do not equal a license.Cher and Dionne are the worst drivers ever. Who is actually that bad, licensed driver or not? To be fair, I pulled a Dionne the first time I drove on the freeway in class. (Except for the making out with the passenger part.) Holy moly, how scary!
6. “Always leave him wanting more.”Cher coaches Tai on how to get Elton to like her (great names – I would totally go for a guy named Elton, even if he was a jerk. Probably especially if he was a jerk.) The most vital thing she tells her is to “always leave him wanting more.” You know what? As much as I hate dating formulas because I am bad at them because I am bad at anything remotely mathematical, I think they really work. Which is probably why I am single, because I so do not ever play hard-to-get. I also do not play damsel-in-distress well, as Cher notices that Tai does. Whatever – I don’t really want to date a guy who likes me when I’m not around, or who needs to save me, though I would appreciate being saved from falling over a railing at the mall. What a lame way to die.
Speaking of “save me,” did you guys hear that One Direction covered “Wonderwall“? That saved me.
Do you guys still like me after all that?
7. Being a virgin is never a bad thing.To be honest, I was a virgin all throughout high school and college and I was absolutely never ashamed of it. When Tai finds out that Cher is a virgin (and Di, at the time), she is surprised. I am with Cher, though. If you feel like giving your virginity up when you are 45 years old, more power to you. There is no shame in taking your time, not to mention, sex really does complicate everything, so there should really be no rush. Cher says it best: “You see how picky I am about my shoes and they only go on my feet.”
8. You have to exercise every day, not just sporadically.When I was taking notes while watching Clueless with my roommates earlier in the week, this lesson didn’t even make my list. However, five days later, I can’t stop thinking about it. Cher and Tai are doing Buns of Steel (which I may try to track down a copy of), and Tai comments that she doesn’t feel a difference. Cher explains that you cannot exercise whenever you want and expect results, you have to do it everyday. My roommate and I were like, well damn. So now we’re going to work out five days a week instead of pretty much never. Thanks, Clueless.
9. Be sure to offer something to your relationship.I have a thing that I have realized about relationships: you both have to contribute something beneficial to the other person. This may seem obvious, but it wasn’t until my tumultous kind-of-two-and-a-half-year-long relationship with my ex-boyfriend that I realized you have to be aware of what you can offer to your mate. (That’s not to say XBF and I had nothing to offer each other–he is a bomb cook, and I am really good at drinking wine, among plenty of other things like mutual adoration.) When Cher realizes that Christian is most likely gay, she states, “He does dress better than I do; what would I bring to the relationship?” Now I’m going to say that Cher has more to offer than her composure, but at least she is aware of what she is best at.
Next boy I like, I will let him know that I pretty much get everyone’s jokes. That’s what I have to offer.
10. Other things:All of your friends are good in their own way, legs crossed toward each other is a sexual invitation, Billie Holiday is a woman, never shave your head without your girlfriend’s permission, drawing attention to your mouth is a good thing (questionable) and Paul Rudd is, and always has been, the most adorable creature on the planet.
Everything I Need to Know, I Learned From Clueless

Gente, podem CAÇOAR, mas eu tirei daqui ó.

Nenhum comentário: